Get a sense of humour

A card has been removed from a Tesco store's shelves because a redhead found it offensive

'The card shows a child with ginger hair sitting on the lap of Santa Claus, and the words: "Santa loves all kids. Even ginger ones."

Davinia Philips, of York was 'disgusted'

Right, first things first - this is not specifically a Tesco issue - this wasn't marketing or an advert, it was just one of the thousand Christmas cards they happen to stock, the company 'Quitting Hollywood' made the card

So essentially she has picked out one of those funny cards, and had a right strop about it - had it actually been marketing I'd agree with her, but it was just a silly card, have you never seen a humourous card that was 'offensive' before? They take the mick out of all sorts - women, men, fat people, old age and a lot are laden with innuendo

What this effectively means that if a card makes a blonde joke, or a fat joke, or a birthday card implies something negative about ageing, then it's offensive to someone and should be banned - great

2/1 it was written by a carrot-top

Put a sock in it, Simon, preferably a smelly one

You may or may not have heard that there is a 'campaign' to get Rage against the Machine to Christmas no.1 over whatever bilge comes out of X Factor this year

Simon Cowell has branded it as 'stupid' and 'cynical' and aimed at him

There's that ego again - actually it's not aimed at you personally, Simon - but is a reflection of our annoyance at having a major tv show produce an unmemorable album by some nobody at Christmas every year

"It does however change these guys' lives and we put this opportunity there so that the winner of the X Factor gets the chance of having a big hit record.

So we should ruin the race for Xmas no.1 because some karaoke singer wants a big hit? - Well here's some news for you, Cowell, there are 52 weeks in the year, and only one is vaguely interesting to the mainstream

Cowell also played down the impact of the trend for the X Factor's winner to take the No 1 spot.

He said: "Everyone has this slightly distorted view of Christmas numbers one being incredible. There was that ghastly Cliff Richard song a few years ago, Bob The Builder. So we haven't exactly taken away anything special, it just so happens that our record, to coincide with the show, goes out at Christmas."

 
If Christmas no.1 isn't so important then why don't you wait til January? These shows have always focused on the Christmas spot - seems strange, if it's not important, that every year since 2005 the X Factor song has been released specifically for the Sunday directly before Christmas, (as was Girls Aloud in 2002, in a specific two-horse race for Xmas No.1 orchestrated by the show)


You undermine the race and then say it's unimportant - so you've basically hijacked a bit of fun for the hell of it? Personally I think that's even worse than the commercialisation angle, at least admit this is exploitation - then it's good business sense rather than just pure humbug


It doesn't matter that crap songs have been Christmas no.1 (and bear in mind they are often for charity, unlike a certain someone's own crap songs) - the point is it's a bit of fun, it's supposed to be a race, not an automatic slot for the latest wannabe singer who'll be forgotten within 12 months - it has become the 'X Factor no.1' instead of the Christmas no.1


It's been hijacked by Cowell and his show, and we have every right to campaign against it - every year there is a campaign to get certain songs to no.1, long before you were even vaguely important, Simon, so don't take it personally, I know you think everything is about you, but it really isn't


And I must ask - why is it any worse to try and get Rage the no.1 spot when you, via manipulation of your viewers, do exactly the same thing? It's like Tesco complaining that Sainsbury's is competing with it

Why do people watch this irritating w**ker?


Raahh! Rant over!

edit: The only decidedly dodgy song since 1993 (Mr. Blobby) was the aforementioned 'Bob the Builder' song in 2000 - and guess what, that was a campaign which defeated Cowell's old band Westlife from claiming a second consecutive Christmas no.1

Go out and purchase "Killing in the Name" from Monday (13th)

Last minute equaliser

So, I've finally got round to watching the mid-season finale of Stargate Universe - no idea when it'll be back

But I have to say, 'Justice' wasn't that bad (spoilers)

It's essentially a whodunit, as the deranged Sergeant Spencer is found shot dead from an apparent suicide, but the weapon has been removed - surprise, surprise it turns up in Col. Young's room, and he is blatantly being set up

What happens next is a very slow march towards the finale as we endure a rather dull trial, and are left guessing as to who planted it - chief suspects are the politician - Wray, and Rush, which was the main reason I kept watching, hoping Rush was being a true Machiavellian presence

I wasn't disappointed, as the finale was actually worth watching as Young confronts Rush on a barren planet where they have conveniently discovered an old alien ship, and then leaves him stranded - now that was a tasty finish

Unfortunately I wouldn't be surprised if many turned over before the final scenes, I found myself buggering about during the lengthy dialogue, which means subconsciously I wasn't enthralled, and I tend to agree with the IGN review that it was a particularly slow episode but led to an excellent finish

But it does mean I will be wanting to see the conclusion - as this is actually interesting, will Rush work out how to fly the ship? My other theory is that Franklin (I forgot to mention he got his brain fried) will work out how to control the Destiny

This is of course what they want me to do, TV networks always stick their best storyline into a break, which is somewhat disheartening if the best they can do is a small part of one episode out of ten - that's not how you captivate an audience (the episode received record low ratings in the states, which is all that matters), but in the short term it's piqued my interest, and I hear the second half is set to be much faster-paced - but again, ten episodes (or half a season) is too long to be setting the stage, I fear they've already driven off fans and will need to work hard to get some credibility back

I really wish those writers would learn - make something happen and people will actually be interested! Introduce a mysterious alien spaceship, strand someone on a rock - excellent stuff, mindless drivel about how someone feels is not quite so good, you can't attract sci-fi fans with a soap opera because it's on a spaceship, and it's sheer arrogance to think that fans should just like it because the writers say they should, some of the drama and characterisation is good - the conflict involving Eli, Wray, Rush and Young worked well, but little else did here, and most of the episode was just wasted, drama does work in sci-fi, if it is done right - but most of what they are writing is not drama, it's dull narrative more suited to the Bold and the Beautiful

They've managed to get a late equaliser here and compel me to watch the conclusion - but thin ice, very thin ice indeed

(and I want to know something - why does the ship only provide a limited list of 'nearby' addresses - conventional Stargate wisdom is that anything within a galaxy is accessible from anywhere)

Badge of Honour

Allison Pearson has written a lovely load of Daily Mail bilge about how marriage is better and will save society, I've said it plenty of times that this marriage thing is just a false correlation and complete bollocks, but still they appeal to lowest common denominator thinking...sells papers I guess

So I therefore take great pride in having my comment in the worst rated section, where you will always find the best comments on the Mail site

I'm only on a mere -22, nothing compared to this eloquent delivery from Cindy, Essex on -68:

I am no fan of Harriet Harman, but I agree with her on marriage. I am 42, single and have worked and paid taxes since I was 18. I feel as if I have paid my debts to society, but still David Cameron would have me treated as a second class citizen?

The top rated meanwhile, cover such insights as:

Batty Hatty must be trying to get in favour with the masses of single, uneducated, one night stand mums who are scared that their subsidised life of idleness may be stamped on by Cameron.
I am not saying that all single parents are like this, but an astounding number are, and those are the most dangerous to society as a whole....

Thankyou, Sandra ...in Spain (+83)

and this from JN in Wiltshire on +55:

Well, of course, Sarah Brown would admire anyone who hurls the odd mobile 'phone, doesn't her "hero" hubby indulge in this activity !!!

Is the Mail rating system supposed to be some sort of in-joke?

Too bloody right

On a day in which we're being subjected to the PBR I felt we should have some good news

Firstly, that stupid religious hatred case has been dismissed - how could it not be? It was someone's word against another's, and was in blatant contradiction of free speech laws

It's good news for justice and common law, but what's scary is the legislation and its use by the police and the CPS - they spent eight months following up this nonsense, the legislation itself is just a ticking timebomb waiting to go off until someone brings in a real free speech clause (fat chance)

Other good news is that a large group of people are lobbying for the government to change the archaic English libel laws - if he actually did it I might be able to forgive Brown one day, but there's not a chance Labour will get it through, if they even want to - the only party I'd trust on this would be the Lib Dems (fat chance)