11 December 2009

Put a sock in it, Simon, preferably a smelly one

You may or may not have heard that there is a 'campaign' to get Rage against the Machine to Christmas no.1 over whatever bilge comes out of X Factor this year

Simon Cowell has branded it as 'stupid' and 'cynical' and aimed at him

There's that ego again - actually it's not aimed at you personally, Simon - but is a reflection of our annoyance at having a major tv show produce an unmemorable album by some nobody at Christmas every year

"It does however change these guys' lives and we put this opportunity there so that the winner of the X Factor gets the chance of having a big hit record.

So we should ruin the race for Xmas no.1 because some karaoke singer wants a big hit? - Well here's some news for you, Cowell, there are 52 weeks in the year, and only one is vaguely interesting to the mainstream

Cowell also played down the impact of the trend for the X Factor's winner to take the No 1 spot.
He said: "Everyone has this slightly distorted view of Christmas numbers one being incredible. There was that ghastly Cliff Richard song a few years ago, Bob The Builder. So we haven't exactly taken away anything special, it just so happens that our record, to coincide with the show, goes out at Christmas."
If Christmas no.1 isn't so important then why don't you wait til January? These shows have always focused on the Christmas spot - seems strange, if it's not important, that every year since 2005 the X Factor song has been released specifically for the Sunday directly before Christmas, (as was Girls Aloud in 2002, in a specific two-horse race for Xmas No.1 orchestrated by the show)

You undermine the race and then say it's unimportant - so you've basically hijacked a bit of fun for the hell of it? Personally I think that's even worse than the commercialisation angle, at least admit this is exploitation - then it's good business sense rather than just pure humbug

It doesn't matter that crap songs have been Christmas no.1 (and bear in mind they are often for charity, unlike a certain someone's own crap songs) - the point is it's a bit of fun, it's supposed to be a race, not an automatic slot for the latest wannabe singer who'll be forgotten within 12 months - it has become the 'X Factor no.1' instead of the Christmas no.1

It's been hijacked by Cowell and his show, and we have every right to campaign against it - every year there is a campaign to get certain songs to no.1, long before you were even vaguely important, Simon, so don't take it personally, I know you think everything is about you, but it really isn't

And I must ask - why is it any worse to try and get Rage the no.1 spot when you, via manipulation of your viewers, do exactly the same thing? It's like Tesco complaining that Sainsbury's is competing with it

Why do people watch this irritating w**ker?

Raahh! Rant over!

edit: The only decidedly dodgy song since 1993 (Mr. Blobby) was the aforementioned 'Bob the Builder' song in 2000 - and guess what, that was a campaign which defeated Cowell's old band Westlife from claiming a second consecutive Christmas no.1

Go out and purchase "Killing in the Name" from Monday (13th)


  1. A man after my own heart, Tarquin.

    Cowell gets on my fucking wick, (the arrogant cunt), even more than Simon Fuller did before him, (who Cowell used to work for), and Stock-Aitkin-Waterman before them!

    We could go back to the 70's, but Chinn & Chapman were very good at what they did and wrote good songs into the bargain - it has just degenerated from there!

    If you notice, Cowell sounds fine when he repeats what the people around him at Syco are saying but the minute he goes off on his own, you always know because he talks utter shite.

    I used to do backing vocals on Pop Idol and Popstars, among other shows, when the producers were still ITV, but I already sussed out when they reached the final four on the first series of Pop Idol, that it was fixed. People are now beginning to catch on that the X-Factor and Britain's Got Talent, (Cowell's own production company), are fixed, too!

    I've already signed up to the Facebook group to buy Rage Against the Machine on Sunday - I wonder what tricks Cowell will get up to, to try and counteract the backlash?!!

  2. tbh I can't say I ever listen to him - as you can tell, two paragraphs can set me off so I've never actually watched him, I'd go insane

    you were a backing singer Spidie? that's cool, learn something new every day