01 September 2010

The Bond retrospective - Number 15

Time for Sean Connery to make an appearance
15. Diamonds are Forever

Women's ultimate weakness...water?
While some feel Bond neatly entered his camp period with the advent of Moore it was in fact Connery’s 1971 return that saw the series sink to silly in-jokes and self parody, many Connery fans seem to conveniently forget that the ageing Scotsman seemingly played this solely for the cash and put in a swaggering, lazy performance. Bond’s animosity with Blofeld, the man who killed his wife two years previously, is completely non-existent, and yet is actually referenced in the lacklustre opening. After that we crawl through a dull plot about diamond smuggling featuring one of the weakest Bond girls in Jill St John, and don’t even see Blofeld, whose ‘shocking’ appearance is about as shocking as French toast, until the very end, by which time you’re asleep. Along the way you have to endure the bizarre homosexual assassins known as Winn and Kidd, a camp moon-buggy chase (that’s the low point) and two female bodyguards who as Felix might say ‘kick ass’… but can’t swim. Overall there’s very little to entertain, the action is poor and unrealistic, the characters are unappealing and there’s next to no plot, the only memorable scene comes with the Mustang chase. It’s another of those ‘forgettable’ Bonds

Shirley Bassey

One of the least interesting Bond girls…and she got a lot of screen time
Moon buggy with flailing arms


  1. I cant believe you haven't put Moonraker in yet!

  2. Not sure I'd agree. Diamonds are Forever (Connery's last outing?) was the first Bond movie I saw on the big screen. I remember the opening titles catching my attention as an 11 yr old and the Burley Chassis title song is a really good one...

    I also know that some scenes were filmed in Southampton docks, which interests me as its where I live.

    So if this particular Bond movie is on the TV, I'm more likely to switch it on and watch it than any of the others. It brings back all sorts of happy memories...!

    But to be fair I rate it for nostalgic/erotic reasons, rather than because it is outstandingly good.

    Live and Let Die, the next in the series (Roger Moores first outing) is probably the pick of the bunch. I loved the funeral processions and the quick-thinking escape across the backs of the Alligators...

    As for the best Bond actor. Brosnan by a country mile...

  3. You are forgetting the moon buggy, TGR! (yes, it was Connery's last outing btw, unless you count the unofficial 'never say never again') - Goldeneye was my first Bond film, so I'm probably biased towards that

    I do enjoy live and let die also, won't be top mind

    Must do number 13 tomorrow